


i thought i made it clear as crystal (but you ain’t good at reading signals)

by spitzerspace



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, F/F, Fluff, cheerleader!Penelope, dumbass!Josie, except Josie's actually really smart, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-17 21:51:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19963783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spitzerspace/pseuds/spitzerspace
Summary: Everyone and their mother knew that HBIC Penelope Park had a crush on Josie Saltzman, except Josie Saltzman.





	i thought i made it clear as crystal (but you ain’t good at reading signals)

**Author's Note:**

> aka just gals being pals
> 
> taking a break from my other fic bc i am confusion plot-wise. so we’re going one-shots shots shots shots shots shots
> 
> changes POV each part so watch tf out!
> 
> tbh it’s just all fluff cause i can’t take any more angst rn (i wrote this sentence before writing the whole story and maybe i spoke too soon, oops)
> 
> nothing original here, it’s trope city or nothin’ baby, enjoy!!

**i. has anyone seen Josie?**

It was no secret that head cheerleader, Penelope Park, who had the whole school wrapped around her finger, was enamoured by Josie Saltzman, the quiet girl who everyone knew to be kind but barely made an effort to climb the social ladder. 

Penelope had never once attempted to hide that fact ever since their first year at Mystic Falls High School, when she had met her through Lizzie, who had also made the cheerleading squad. 

Every year since then, many had blatantly tried to woo Penelope, hoping that they’d be the one to change things, but each time she’d say the exact same words with an empathetic smile, “Sorry, I like Josie.” 

Though, it wasn’t as if Penelope kept completely celibate. She had her casual hook-ups at parties with a few different people, making certain beforehand that it was completely physical and no feelings were involved, which hadn’t caused any issues so far, except a small reputation of being a player of sorts. 

They never talked much directly to each other, as Josie never seemed to be alone, but Penelope would always make an effort to give her a friendly compliment whenever they found themselves in the same conversation circle. The blush that, without fail, appeared on Josie’s face only spurred Penelope’s hope that Josie felt something back. But, slightly to Penelope’s disappointment, Josie never took any action that showed her reciprocation of feelings, nor would Penelope ever make a move without _some_ clear indication that Josie was comfortable and welcoming of it. 

Though in junior year when Rafael Waithe, who was new to the school but had somehow become quarterback of the football team within minutes, had decided to ask Josie out, Penelope couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret. 

Josie and Rafael became a thing of sorts, hanging together more often and at times Josie could be seen wearing Rafael’s football jersey. 

There were the occasional whispers of how ‘everyone knew’ that Josie was _‘Penelope’s girl’_ and _‘what the hell was Rafael thinking’_ which made Penelope frustrated, scolding anyone who spread such rumours and misinformation. 

Josie seemed happy, so Penelope was happy for her and pushed her own feelings aside. 

So, in their final year, almost four years after meeting, Penelope was _sure_ that Josie knew by now (though, she never explicitly told Josie, not wanting to place any pressure on her), but had simply decided that she didn’t like her back. It did nothing to deter her feelings, but she respected the fact and let Josie make her own choices. 

The only problem was that this year, Josie’s locker had coincidentally been switched right next to Penelope’s, meaning that, at the very least, every morning they would see each other. 

“Hey, Josie, I guess we’re neighbours this year, huh,” Penelope smiles as Josie fiddled with the lock, having no luck getting it open. 

“Penelope, hey,” Josie seems to have only just noticed that Penelope had been the one standing next to her, filling up her own locker, but a huge smile appears on her face regardless. “I guess we are. How was your summer?” 

Josie still can’t seem to get her locker open and starts muttering curses (which were much too polite to be considered so) under her breath. Penelope can’t help but chuckle and the warmth building inside her chest made the hot summer they had just endured pale in comparison. She reaches over and tugs once at the lock, and it seems to magically open, much to Josie’s confusion. 

“Hope had that locker last year, it’s a bit shoddy and you need to twist it at a certain angle,” Penelope explains, and Josie nods and mumbles a ‘thanks’. “Anyway, my summer was fine. Went to the beach a lot, or hung out by the pool, then coach made us go on that cheer camp for a few weeks, which you already know, because Lizzie… But other than that, not much, except maybe an awful bikini tan under all this.” Penelope gestures down to her short skirt and legs and Josie’s eyes follow her hands, then trace down her legs, lingering for perhaps longer than necessary. “How was yours?”

Josie’s eyes snap back up and she clears her throat, looking towards her empty locker. “Good, yeah, it was good.”

Penelope laughs. “Just good? Didn’t you go on that trip to visit the NASA headquarters, after being chosen out of, like, a million people?” 

Josie seems surprised that Penelope knew that and blushes slightly at the subtle compliment. “Not a million… But yes, I did, and it was amazing,” Josie beams and gazes away as if she’s reminiscing her trip, and Penelope is really, honestly just gone for her. 

“Well if anyone deserved it, it’d definitely be you,” Penelope grins and closes her locker as the bell for first period rings. “I’ll see you around, I guess.”

“Yeah… see you,” Josie waves, seeming to be a bit out of it, but Penelope just gives her a friendly wink and turns around to make her way to her first class.

//

Turns out they had a few classes together this year, and Penelope doesn’t know whether to be happy or miserable about it. On the one hand, she would get to see Josie even more than their morning greetings and potentially in between classes, but on the other, she probably really needed to get over the cosmic crush she had on her before they inevitably graduated and Josie would most likely move away to achieve the grand things she was destined to achieve. 

It wasn’t like they talked or even sat near each other in class anyway, but it was sort of hard to concentrate when Josie always sat at the front, looking adorable as she was probably the only one focussing on what the teacher was saying. Penelope didn’t exactly need to pay attention, her grades were more than above average, but it would be nice to not have her heart constantly playing the beat to the _Ramones_ version of _Baby, I Love You._

Penelope sighs, it was simply another thing out of her control that she would deal with. 

A good distraction comes in the form of Kaleb, who sends out a mass message to most of the cohort (who he somehow has all the numbers to), announcing a party at his house at the end of the week, to celebrate the beginning of their senior year. Penelope finds herself keen for the rest of the week to be over, ready to jump at the opportunity to get wasted and possibly jumpstart her year of getting over Josie Saltzman. 

The week passes by slowly as she returns back into the groove of her normal school schedule, which included boring classes where she mostly stared out the window (or at Josie), rowdy lunches in the cafeteria, cheer practice after school, and people constantly coming up to her to ask about her summer or what she was doing after practice. However, it now included finding Josie Saltzman at the locker next to hers every morning and sneaking up on her by telling her the latest lame joke that she had found on the internet and memorised the night before. 

“How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?” Penelope leans against her locker, a bit too hard, causing a somewhat loud banging sound and a dull pain in her shoulder. Josie jumps slightly in surprise, though she should really be used to it by now, after the past few days of the same thing. 

“Um, are octopuses ticklish?” Josie asks, grinning at the absurdity of the joke. “Like do they have eight armpits that one can tickle?” 

Penelope rolls her eyes and huffs, but can’t keep her own grin from spreading across her face. _“Ten_ -tickles, Josie! Because the _tentacles!”_

Josie laughs, seemingly more so at Penelope’s exaggerated arm wiggling to imitate a tentacle than the actual joke. “I got it, Pen, it’s very funny. Though, I hope you know that octopuses have arms and not tentacles.” 

“JoJo, it doesn’t work if I ask how many tickles to make an octopus to laugh and then scream _‘ARMS!’_ as the answer,” Penelope pouts and Josie giggles. 

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry, I won’t educate you anymore about your jokes... which are concerningly misinformed,” Josie teases, saying the last part quietly under her breath as she pretends to grab something from her locker. 

Penelope lets out a small laugh but decides not to comment. “Anyway, are you coming tonight? To Kaleb’s party?” 

“Uh, I’m not sure. Lizzie and MG want me to come but they never hang out with me whenever I go, so I usually end up going home early,” Josie says, seeming nervous to share the fact. 

Penelope had seen Josie at a few parties over the years - and by seen she meant she saw Josie arrive with MG and Lizzie, and then Josie alone, and then Josie disappearing for the rest of the night, before Penelope ever had the chance to speak to her, always being distracted by her friends wanting to play beer pong or dancing to the song that just came up. She had always assumed that Josie went to hang out with Hope in some corner of the party, but now she realises that she had simply left. Then again, Hope rarely went to parties either so it made more sense. 

“What about Raf? Wouldn’t he want you there?” Penelope furrows her eyebrows in confusion. 

“Oh, right, yeah, we broke up over the summer…” Josie looks at her, as if gauging her reaction. 

And Penelope is shocked, to say the least, though she tries not to let it show. She’s honestly very surprised that she hadn’t heard the news, being the head cheerleader, but she guesses all that scolding about not talking about Josie and Rafael negatively was more potent than she intended. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Penelope says genuinely, not allowing herself to feel even a smidgen of happiness at the news, “if that asshole cheated on you, I swear…” 

“No, no, Pen, it’s fine, really. I decided to end things, actually. It just didn’t feel right…” Josie explains with a shrug. Penelope feels like Josie’s going to finish that sentence but she doesn’t. 

“Oh, okay, if that’s what you wanted,” Penelope nods, “and I mean, you don’t have to come tonight, it’s totally up to you, but if you _do,_ I’d really like to hang out with you.” Penelope curses herself for already dropping her plan of getting over Josie and mentally rolls her eyes at own lack of self-control.

“Yeah, maybe, I think that’d be nice,” Josie smiles, and Penelope tries not to read too deep into the look of hopefulness that appears on Josie’s face, if that’s even what it was. 

“Alright, well maybe I’ll see you tonight then,” Penelope smiles back and the bell rings, letting her know she’s going to be a little late for her first class as she had forgone getting her books by talking to Josie. 

“Maybe,” Josie walks backwards for a few steps, keeping eye contact, before giggling and turning around to head to her classroom. 

//

The party is already in full swing by the time Penelope arrives with a few of her cheerleader friends and she immediately scans the room for a certain person. She finds herself mildly disappointed when she sees Lizzie but not her twin, but hopefully it meant Josie was around somewhere. 

One of her friends hands her a cup filled with a clear mixed drink and she sips it, finding it to be most likely 90% vodka and 10% sprite. She smiles back at Cassie in thanks, with no plans on actually finishing the awful drink, as she wanted to keep a clear head, and makes her way towards the group of people that Lizzie’s sitting on the couches with. 

“Hey, has anyone seen Josie?” Penelope asks. 

“You know, Park, your crush on my sister is getting a little pathetic,” Lizzie teases, gaining a few lighthearted laughs from the circle, though Penelope knows she means no harm by it. 

“Whatever, Saltzman, did she come with you or not?” Penelope huffs, just wanting to hang out with Josie. 

“If you must know, yes, she did, but I think I saw her with Raf a few moments ago…” Lizzie says, somewhat cautious about Penelope’s reaction. 

“Oh,” Penelope exhales as her face drops slightly, “I guess I’ll find her later then.” 

She walks away from the group before feeling a tug on her wrist, which causes her to turn around. Lizzie’s face appears in front of her and she takes a step back, surprised and a bit too close for comfort. 

“You know, she never liked him,” Lizzie says quietly, now that they were away from the group, her face serious and void of the teasing from before. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Penelope shakes her head, knowing what Lizzie was trying to say, “I just want her to be happy and go after what _she_ wants.” 

Lizzie nods and gives her wrist a gentle squeeze. “Just don’t leave it too late, okay?”

Lizzie lets go of her arm and walks back to the group after that, leaving Penelope in puzzlement. “Leave _what_ too late?” she yells at her, but Lizzie ignores her, quickly slipping back into the conversation on the couch. 

It honestly didn’t make sense to Penelope. Josie had never shown an interest in wanting to be with her, so why would Lizzie be expecting something from her? It’s not like she hid the fact that she liked Josie, anyone could see that, especially Josie, right?

Penelope mentally shakes the thoughts from her head and instead goes back to her friend group, keeping a lookout for Josie if she appeared. She continues drinking the strong mixed drink as she chats with them, just for something to do and maybe to calm her nerves a bit. It goes overboard when she realises she had finished the cup and was feeling slightly buzzed, presumably due to what was at least 5 shots of vodka that had been initially poured in (maybe she should’ve eaten something beforehand as well). 

That’s when the universe finally decides to let her see Josie. 

“JoJo!” she yells, causing all her friends to look at her, probably because Josie was on the other side of the room and the loud music meant that no one further than 2 metres could hear her, meaning she had just suddenly yelled loudly in the middle of their group conversation. “Oops, sorry,” Penelope giggles, “excuse me.” 

She removes herself from their circle and makes her way towards where she saw Josie standing before, hoping to reach her this time before she left. She pushes past sweaty teenagers trying to dance and others trying to grab her attention. 

When she gets to the spot exactly where Josie was standing, she’s nowhere to be seen and Penelope deflates. She looks around in confusion, trying to cover the whole 360 degrees but her mind’s a bit clouded and she ends up just looking left and right over again. She feels a tapping on her shoulder and abruptly turns around, facing the person she’s been searching for the whole night. 

“JoJo!” Penelope repeats again, a wide smile of relief appearing on her face, knowing that this time Josie can hear her. 

“Penny!” Josie giggles, imitating her tone in a teasing manner. “You seem like you’re having a good time.”

“Oh, the best, now that I’ve found you,” Penelope beams, “let’s dance!”

“Oh I don’t really-” Josie tries to say but Penelope drags her to the middle of the room packed with other people. And Josie’s not even a bad dancer or anything, maybe slightly stiff, but Penelope tries to help her relax by holding her hands and moving along with her. 

They end up in a fit of laughter as they bounce in time to the music, enjoying letting loose for a bit. Josie touches her arms, her neck, her waist, as they move in sync, slowly getting closer to one another. And Penelope maybe just falls more for her but that’s a problem for tomorrow. 

//

Penelope wakes up in her own bed the next morning, glad to not have a headache as she had stopped drinking after that first one. She remembers dancing with Josie, then chatting with her while a bit drunk, with Josie laughing a shit-ton, and then Josie saying that she needed to leave as she had piano lessons early the next day. Penelope had offered to take Josie home but somehow Josie ended up taking Penelope home (which she now suspects was Josie’s plan all along) and said goodnight, to which Penelope reciprocated, receiving a tight hug and giving her loopy smile in return, before ultimately crashing in her bed with her party outfit still on. But all she really cares about is Josie holding her as they stumbled home. 

Her first thought is to text Josie and ask if she made it home alright, but then she realises that she doesn’t have her number, never having asked for it. 

Before she can dwell further on that, someone abruptly barges into her room and yells at her.

“Are you alive?!” Hope says before even looking at her, but then jumps on her bed once she sees Penelope sitting up.

“Morning, Mikaelson. As you can see, I’m very much alive…” Penelope rubs her eyes and then uses her fingers to somewhat tame her messy bed hair. 

“Oh, good, I thought you might’ve died from all that time you spent with Josie last night,” Hope laughs, poking her in the stomach. Penelope swats her hand away and scowls at her. 

“You weren’t even there, how would you know?” Penelope remembers looking for Hope at some point, to ask if she had seen Josie, but not finding her. 

“I was over at theirs this morning to bring Lizzie some coffee, she has a mega hangover and wanted to be left alone, and Josie told me what happened,” Hope wiggles her eyebrows. Penelope feels relieved at the fact that Josie made it home safely, even though their neighbourhood was as safe as it gets. “She seemed really happy, you know?” 

Penelope rolls her eyes for show but _Hope_ has managed to dig its way into the crevice of her soiled heart and plant a seed there. “She always seems happy, even when it’s storming outside.”

“Don’t you think I know that? She’s like walking sunshine. But she seemed _extra_ happy, if you know what I mean,” Hope says suggestively. 

And Penelope _knows_ what she means but doesn’t have the energy for it. 

“Whatever, did you bring any coffee or did you just come here to annoy the living daylights out of me?” 

“It’s downstairs, asshole,” Hope frowns about Penelope not indulging her in her teasing. 

“Wow, forget Josie, _you_ are the love of my life, Hope Mikaelson,” Penelope throws over her shoulder as she walks out of her room to search for the coffee downstairs.

//

**ii. we can’t be together like that**

Josie finds herself particularly excited for school this year. Not that she didn’t already enjoy learning new things everyday, but there was just a different air to it. Maybe because it was their last year and she wanted to treasure the fleeting moments she had left in high school. Maybe it was because they finally got new jerseys for the mathletes and she was excited to participate again this year. Maybe she just liked seeing her friends and favourite teachers and would miss it when she leaves. No other reason, really. 

It’s their second week back and she’s attempting once again to open her locker, pulling it in the certain way that she had made Hope teach her how to do. It had worked fine the first week but now it refuses to budge. She bangs her fist on the locker, frustrated, and it slowly creaks open, much to her delight. 

“Wow, remind me to never get on your bad side,” Penelope appears next to her, as she somehow always manages to do, and Josie jumps slightly. 

And Penelope looks beautiful, as always, smiling up at her with that teasing glint she always seems to have in her eyes. 

“Good to know you’re alive and well,” Josie greets her, placing a few books in her locker. 

“Why do people keep assuming I’m dead,” Penelope huffs out, opening her own locker, and additionally mumbles, “albeit for different reasons, but that’s beside the point.” 

Josie has no idea what she means by that and she’s not certain she wants to know. 

“I had fun, though, the other night,” Josie expresses her thoughts, slightly nervous. “It was nice hanging out with you outside of school.” 

Penelope beams at that, closing her locker and crossing her arms as she leans against the door. 

“Same here. Who knew Josie Saltzman - uncontested future valedictorian, president of the mathletes, chess club, debate team - could have a little fun?” Penelope teases as she counts each point with her fingers. Josie’s surprised that Penelope even knew that much about her, though most people in the school were probably aware. 

“You forgot the GSA,” Josie giggles and raises a brow, playing into Penelope’s little game. 

“Oh, trust me, I did _not_ forget,” Penelope grins and Josie feels like it’s supposed to mean something, but it’s completely gone over her head. 

“Anyway, who says I can’t have fun? Maybe I’m tired of always being a goody two shoes,” Josie says, and Penelope tilts her head at that but doesn’t comment so she continues, “And maybe you had a little _too_ much fun, Miss Penelope Park, don’t think that I forgot what you said to me that night.”

Penelope looks panicked for a brief moment before schooling her features and Josie doesn’t know what Penelope _thinks_ she might’ve drunkenly vocalised, but it definitely is not the reaction expected from what she _actually_ said. 

“And remind me what that is, Miss Josette Saltzman,” Penelope challenges, the grip on her crossed arm minutely tightening as if she were nervous to hear the answer. 

“Well that’s for me to know, and _you_ to never find out,” Josie teases back and Penelope narrows her eyes playfully in suspicion. 

Honestly, it wasn’t even anything bad. Penelope had simply expressed how she thought Josie was destined for great things and that she’d miss her after they graduated, which warmed Josie’s heart but she didn’t take it too seriously since Penelope seemed a bit out of it. Josie had returned the sentiment, prompting the goofiest grin to appear on Penelope’s face. Penelope then told her the silliest stories about dumb high school moments, causing Josie to crack-up so much that her stomach ached. Finally, she briefly mentioned that she had a crush on someone at school who she thought stars should be named after, making Josie laugh at the ridiculousness, but refused to tell Josie who it was and quickly moved on. 

Josie’s surprised that Penelope would’ve forgotten anything, seeing as she wasn’t really that drunk, but Josie didn’t know what Penelope’s alcohol tolerance was so maybe she was more intoxicated than she had thought. 

“Alright, then…” Penelope muses, grinning at Josie, “keep your secrets. I’m heading off to class, I’ll see you second period.” Penelope pushes herself off the locker and gives her one last squinty smile before turning around.

Before Penelope gets further than a couple of metres away, Josie remembers something.

“Wait!” Josie yells, too abruptly, causing a few students to give her a look before resuming their walk to class. Penelope turns around but doesn’t approach her again. “No lame joke today?”

“Oh, right. It’s under there,” Penelope points to the bottom of her locker and Josie looks down to search for some sort of paper but finds nothing.

“Under where?” Josie says, confused about the absence of any joke. The moment Penelope giggles childishly and turns around to walk away, Josie realises the awful, awful joke and groans, not being able to help the goofy grin that spreads across her face as she leans against her locker with her books held close to her chest.

//

Of course she had heard the rumours that Penelope had a crush on her, she wasn’t exactly living under a rock. But that was exactly it, they were just rumours. Penelope had never made a move on her, except harmless and friendly flirting, which Josie had seen her do with basically the whole cohort, and never once has she openly expressed her supposed feelings for Josie. From that fact alone, Josie thought it was safe to assume that Penelope, in fact, did not have a crush on her and people were just spreading rumours for the fun of it. 

To be fair, Josie wasn’t even sure of her own feelings towards Penelope. Sure, Penelope made her blush and feel things that no one else had made her feel, not even Rafael, but it was most likely just her charming personality that made everyone who talked to her feel special. When she had dated Rafael, she searched for that same feeling, hoping to find something that made her stomach flutter and left her wanting more. But when she hadn’t found that after almost a year of dating, she decided it was best not to waste Rafael’s time and instead find someone else that brought her closer to that feeling. Rafael, to his credit, was understanding about it, even going out of his way to talk to her at the recent party, to make sure that they were still on good terms. 

Though, that didn’t stop Lizzie and Hope from teasing her about what they are convinced is a high school-long crush that she has developed on Penelope. Josie constantly berated them about it, telling them that she simply thought Penelope was a nice person so what’s wrong with that. Josie may have also made them promise not to mention anything to Penelope ever, but that’s beside the point. 

She was surprised that Penelope even said more than a ‘hi’ to her when their lockers ended up next to each other, if going by their past years of simple greetings and surface-level small talk. In fact, it was a good thing, allowing her to stop placing Penelope on some sort of pedestal, which was feebly built upon rumours and gossip. 

The bell ringing brought her out of her thoughts, realising that she hadn’t been paying attention to anything for most of the class. 

“Alright, remember to grab an assignment sheet from the front and start working with your partner soon,” Mr Williams says from the front, rubbing out the whiteboard. 

Josie panics, not knowing what the assignment was nor who her partner was. 

“Hey, Jo, where’s your head at? You looked like you were distracted the whole period,” Hope pops up next to her, as they had the same next period and usually walked to class together.

“Um, Hope, who’s my partner?” Josie whispers, afraid that Mr Williams will hear her. 

Hope smiles smugly at that and lifts her brow, “Oh, no one, just Penelope Park.”

Josie’s eyes widen and she gives Hope an alarmed expression as a million different thoughts run through her head, too fast for Josie to chase any of them down. 

“Oh my god, your face!” Hope teases, giddy about Josie’s reaction. “I’m totally kidding, it’s me, I’m your partner. Penelope got put with Lizzie.” 

Josie thinks she would probably set Hope’s hair on fire at that exact moment, if she had that ability. 

“You’re an ass,” Josie huffs, packing her things away and stomping, or at least attempting to stomp with what little force she had, towards the front of the room to grab a sheet. “You’re doing all the work!” she yells behind her, giving Mr Williams a _‘just kidding’_ face when he turns around, and hearing Hope’s laughter.

She continues stomping out of the classroom, vaguely seeing the little wave that Penelope gives her from where’s she’s sitting on one of the tables, chatting with Lizzie, but her mind being too committed to pretending to be annoyed at Hope to register the action. 

She doesn’t even know why she’s feigning being fussed at Hope for messing with her, but the brief second where she truly believed she had to spend time alone with Penelope, where no one else was around and no one was drunk, had given her that same fluttery feeling that always comes with thoughts of Penelope. 

//

Before she knows it, it’s almost Autumn break and their assignment is due in a week. That didn’t really matter, since Josie and Hope had finished it last week, much to Hope’s complaining that they still had so much more time. What _did_ matter was that Penelope was over at her house _all the time._ Apparently the assignment was so important that Penelope just had to come over almost every day after cheer practice to work on it. And it wasn’t like Josie didn’t _enjoy_ talking with Penelope, she really did, but there was always something there whenever Penelope left - like something had been _filled_ for the few moments that they conversed, and then it was gone again once she left. 

Their brief chats and jokes every morning did the exact same thing, but now it was doubled, and exposure therapy was indubitably being scientifically disproven by the second. She had probably talked to Penelope more in the last month than their entire 3 previous years of schooling together, and it was the most fulfilling but stressful trail of feelings that Josie had felt in her teenage career. 

And she couldn’t help but always want to _touch_ Penelope somewhere. Whether it was just on her arm or even just their hands sliding by one another, and it was maddening. 

She kept herself busy with all the extracurriculars and advanced classes she was taking, but starting and ending her school day with Penelope was frankly just overwhelming. 

So she’s glad when they get a week off for break. She enjoys the nice weather and finishes a few college applications that she had been working on throughout the term. 

Everything feels good for a while and she’s not sure why she was even freaking out about school anymore, in hindsight. Honestly, after a week of not seeing each other, Josie was excited to return and see Penelope again; this time with the expectation of enjoying their time together and looking forward to their next, instead of dreading when their current time together would end. 

When their first day back comes around again, Josie’s anticipating waiting at her locker to ask about Penelope’s break, but when she gets there early, she instead finds Penelope making out with another girl against her locker, and something in her chest shatters. 

// 

**iii. i know**

Penelope finds herself pushed against her own locker, Dana running a hand down her back and pulling her closer. Penelope had initially told Dana it was a bad idea to make out at school, but Dana had convinced her that it was early enough that no one would be around and why the hell not. 

It was a safe option to use Dana as a release for the tension that was building up inside her. She knew Dana was in love with Connor and only using Penelope as a way to make him jealous, and to also relieve some tension herself, so she was glad that no feelings would be involved. They had started their thing in the break, and it just worked so well that there really wasn’t any reason to stop. 

The school term that she had just endured with Josie, or as she liked to call it: _The Hurt Locker (2008),_ had been nothing if not torturous. Speaking with Josie each day had only amplified what she already felt and reminded her of what she’ll most likely never have. That didn’t mean she didn’t enjoy their tormenting time together, but with Josie not showing any further hints of romantic interest (even after Penelope had stepped up her game a little and tried to spend just that extra more time with her by going over to the twins’ house after practice), it really was time to somewhat try to move on. 

When she sees the look on Josie’s face as she approaches her locker, she knows she’s made a mistake. Penelope quickly pushes Dana off of her and wipes her mouth, just in case. Dana gives her a fleeting _‘I’ll see you after school’_ before leaving them, as more people begin filling in the hallways. 

“Morning, JoJo! How was your break?” Penelope smiles, ignoring how _Alone_ by the _Bee Gees_ starts randomly playing in her head, and trying to not read into the hurt expression on Josie’s face, convincing herself that it’s simply due to surprise. 

“Good morning, Penelope,” Josie’s smile seems a bit forced but Penelope ignores it. “It wasn’t too bad, I finished a few college applications, went to read in the park a lot, binged too many baking shows...” Josie blushes from her admission but all Penelope can think about is how far they’ve come since becoming locker neighbours, from Josie barely describing her holidays to now giving her unnecessary (to everyone but Penelope) details. 

“That literally sounds perfect,” Penelope says, then pouts slightly, “all I did was work and hang out at the diner.” 

“Right, you work at the swimming pool, right?” Josie asks, opening her locker. 

“I sure do, my parents made me get a job to teach me responsibility or whatnot,” Penelope shrugs, “but the tan lines from the uniform is just plain awful.” She moves the side of her shirt off her shoulder to show Josie, and she knows she should stop doing this but the way Josie blushes and sputters every time is just too amusing. “See?”

“I- yep- I see, it really sure is there,” Josie quickly averts her eyes back to her locker and arranges the magnets on the door, as if they had moved over the break. “Anyway,” she continues, “it sounds like you had a good time, seeing as you and Dana are now a thing or something.” 

“We’re not a thing,” Penelope immediately reassures her, that is, if Josie even needed reassuring of something. “Just hanging out.”

“Well we’ve hung out before and never done _that,”_ Josie looks like she immediately regrets her words and colour Penelope Park intrigued as fuck. “Not that- I mean, not that we _should,_ I just mean it didn’t look like hanging- you know what, it’s none of my business, sorry.”

“Josie, relax, it’s fine,” Penelope chuckles casually, though her insides are doing somersaults centre stage at the Summer Olympics and the crowd is going wild. “We’re just friends… maybe with some benefits, but just friends, if that’s what you’re trying to ask. I have feelings for someone else, anyway.” 

And this is the closest Penelope’s ever been to confessing her feelings, but the way Josie had just reacted is really clouding her mind right now. But she would still never say it, she knows Josie doesn’t need any form of duress, and her having to reject or even feel pressured to date the head cheerleader would only cause harm. 

“Oh, right,” Josie looks at her then and grins a bit in a teasing manner, “so you’ve said.” 

Penelope frowns slightly, not remembering ever having said that, especially since she was so careful not to talk about her love life in front of Josie, except maybe right now where her emotions are taking over. 

She decides it’s best to ignore it, since Josie most likely already previously knew she had a crush on her and maybe thought Penelope was talking about a new person. The whole situation was just a bit confusing, honestly, and she didn’t have time to rearrange her mental red string evidence board at that exact moment, so she plays it safe.

“And you?” Penelope lifts her brow. “Have you got your eye on a special someone?”

“Maybe,” Josie moves her eyes to the ceiling as if thinking about them, and Penelope tries to not let her heart tear apart too loudly, “but they’re a bit of an idiot and don’t pick up my signals so I don’t think anything will happen. I think they like someone else, anyway.”

“Well, they sure do sound like an idiot,” Penelope regains herself, maybe slightly angry at this dumbass who can’t take a hint, “and I don’t know if I’ve told you this before-”

“You probably have,” Josie interrupts and Penelope rolls her eyes, because she probably has. 

“-but you’re like the most amazing person ever and anyone would be lucky to have you in their life,” Penelope finishes, hoping it doesn’t sound too forward. But Josie still blushes and ducks her head after hearing similar things a million times, and it makes it so worth it. 

Josie hits her shoulder lightly and Penelope never gets tired of the reaction, nor does she understand what it means. 

“Stop making me blush, asshole,” Josie reprimands her but the crinkling of her eyes makes sure that Penelope will never stop. 

The bell finally rings and Josie closes her locker. “See you in class, JoJo,” Penelope winks and Josie huffs away a piece of dangling hair in faux-annoyance before quickly giving her a hug and walking away before Penelope even has the time to hug her back. 

Penelope realises that she forgot to tell her the lame joke that she memorised the night before but Josie didn’t ask, so she lets go of one of their morning traditions and takes the friendly hug instead. 

//

The weeks go by quickly and things are still going well with Dana so Penelope decides not to mess with it, except letting Dana know that nothing is to ever happen in front of Josie. 

Josie and Penelope still talk every morning, now ending with a quick hug before they separate. Penelope realises that Josie never lets go first, which lead to an extra long hug one morning when Penelope was waiting for Josie to let go but didn’t want to let go herself. Knowing this, she makes sure to keep their hugs short so that Josie doesn’t feel uncomfortable. 

Cheer practice starts taking up more of her time and headspace, with a big game coming up, which she feels glad for as it distracts her from thinking about certain other things.

Josie casually mentions one day that she’s excited for the game and attending to support Lizzie, which she usually does anyway, and Penelope feels extra motivated to do well. 

On the night of the game, Dana runs up to her on the track beforehand and asks if they can make out for show, since Connor was warming up nearby on the field with the rest of the team. Penelope absentmindedly agrees, momentarily forgetting about the mass of people on the bleachers, and Dana thanks her after before going back to doing her own stretches. 

The routine goes without a hitch, leaving Penelope on a high as the crowd applauds and whistles at them. She heads to the bleachers to see if she can find Josie and she does. She finds Josie sitting in the bottom corner of the seats, kissing Rafael. 

She takes Dana home that night, not trusting herself with her own thoughts and really needing a distraction. 

// 

Christmas is just around the corner before Penelope can even stop to make a festive playlist, but _Missing You_ by _John Waite_ seems to be repeating enough on her mental record player to sate her for the time being. 

After seeing Josie kissing Rafael, she feels like her heart has been turned to stone and there really was no hope anymore (as much as she wished Hope would also disappear). Each beat that pumped the blood circulating in her body felt heavier and the weight of the heavy rock sat deep in her chest, making it feel harder to breathe at times. 

The hallways are decorated with tinsel and mistletoe and Penelope doesn’t feel too into the Christmas spirit but Josie does, so she tries for her. 

“Any plans for the break?” Josie bounds towards her, reindeer ears flopping on her head. 

Penelope looks up at her from her locker and can’t help but giggle at how adorable she looks. 

“No, not really,” Penelope sighs, “my parents are always away for the holidays. I think they don’t know what to do with me around all the time.” Penelope laughs sadly at that but quickly recovers after seeing Josie’s frown. “How about the Saltzman household? I know Lizzie loves Christmas.” 

“Oh, you bet she does. She’s never once believed in Santa but she still stays up past midnight every year and I have no clue why,” Josie shrugs. “But my mum’s coming home for Christmas so I’m really excited to see her.”

Penelope doesn’t have the heart to tell her that Lizzie’s waiting for Hope to climb into their side window so that they can perform _unholy_ activities on the holy night. Hope really forgets the definition of TMI when she’s around Penelope but whatever. She focuses on the second part instead. 

“That sounds amazing, Jo,” Penelope grins, knowing that both the twins miss their mother a lot of the year. “I know how much you both miss her.”

“Yeah,” Josie sighs, but already seems giddy just talking about it, “you know, if you’re free, you should come over for Christmas.” Penelope’s surprised that Josie would invite her to a family event and her face must show it because Josie quickly continues, “I mean, you know my dad likes you since you’re always hanging around with Lizzie at our house, and Hope comes over too so it’s not like it’s strictly a family thing, and we always have too much food, anyway, plus Lizzie’s like one of your closest-”

“Wow, Josie,” Penelope places a hand on Josie’s arm to calm her rambling, “I would love to come, I would, really, but I have this tradition of spending it with my cousin and he drives down and everything, and it’s not a big deal but we rarely see each other.”

“Oh, right, no, that sounds nice,” Josie smiles sadly, and Penelope senses a hint of disappointment but it might just be her feelings acting out again. “I hope you have fun.”

“Thanks,” Penelope says as the bell rings, and a wave of longing washes over her. “Well, if I don’t see you for the rest of the day, I guess we’ll meet again in the new year?” Penelope tries not to let her voice crack and she’s not sure why she’s getting emotional right now, but it feels as if something’s ending. As if, if she doesn’t confess her feelings for Josie right now, then it will all be over. Which is just ridiculous since they’ll see each other next year, but Penelope can’t explain it at the moment. 

“Yeah,” Josie laughs, though there’s no humour in it, “I guess so.” She sighs and reaches forward to encompass Penelope in a hug that could probably fast forward climate change and melt the ice caps with its sheer warmth. 

And Penelope would _like_ to say that all her broken pieces over the years were fitting back together just from the one hug, but it wasn’t like that at all. No, quite the opposite. Her stony heart was a cracked pavement and the crevices were only getting bigger by the second, letting the weeds grow through, reaching towards the sunlight, towards Josie. 

And Penelope wants to cry and let out all the feelings she’s had but it’s not what Josie needs. 

Penelope finally lets go, knowing Josie would never, and she holds back all the emotions she can. But she’s a boat of sentiment and the small hole that Josie has left is slowly filling the floor with water, and there isn’t much time before she sinks. 

Josie gives her one last look, as if she’s searching for something on Penelope’s face, before Penelope smiles at her and turns away.

“Wait!” Josie calls, grabbing Penelope’s wrist. Penelope turns around and her boat is shaking on the river of emotions, water splashing in from all directions now. “I got you a gift.”

Josie reaches into her bag and pulls out a small parcel, handing it to Penelope. “Merry Christmas, Pen.” 

Josie leaves then and Penelope sinks.

//

The rest of the day is uneventful, just pure mucking around on the last day before break. Penelope tries to enjoy it but the gift in her bag looms at the front of her mind, itching to be opened. 

On her way home, she remembers to drop some things off in the post for a few of her friends and family members, having timed it exactly to arrive on a certain day. 

She spends the next few days hanging out with a couple of friends at the diner and spending as much time with Dana as Dana wanted. 

When Christmas Day arrives, she has a genuinely nice time with Jed, playing video games and catching up with each other’s lives. He drives her up to the peak of Mystic Falls, overlooking the whole snow-covered town, and it’s lovely but all she can think about is Josie and the gift she has been distracting herself from. 

Just thinking about Josie makes her mind somehow play _A Touch of Paradise_ by _Mondo Rock_ and _John Farnham’s_ cover of it simultaneously and she has to quickly record scratch it out of her head before it gets too far. Maybe she should rewind back to _Missing You._

Kaleb decides to throw his annual New Year’s party for those who have no one to celebrate with at home and Penelope attends, as she usually does. 

It’s obvious that everyone’s having a good time, excited for the new year, but there’s also an air of sadness to it, as if, if given the chance, everyone would much rather be spending it quietly in their own homes, with family and friends who loved them. 

Penelope ends up on the roof of Kaleb’s house, alone, minutes before midnight, smoking a joint. 

She thinks about the year she just had, pining over a girl who was never bound to return her feelings. Basically the same as every other year, but it hurt just that bit more this year, knowing that she had grown closer to Josie but still nothing happened. 

She thinks about the rest of the school year that’s ahead of her. She really wants to promise herself that she’ll finally move on but she knows it’s useless. Josie’s the _one_ for her, even if she’s not the one for Josie. 

It doesn’t really matter, Penelope supposes. It’s not like anything changed, she still had her cheerleading accomplishments, her good grades that would get her into a good college even without a cheerleading scholarship, her friends… 

Plus, everything would be different this time next year when they’d all have graduated and moved to different cities. They would have different friends, different lives, no stupid lockers… 

She’s pulled out of her thoughts (and _Cher’s_ rendition of _One of Us_ playing in her mind) when she hears the roof latch open, revealing a slightly annoyed girl holding a piece of paper. 

Josie’s muttering something to herself as she climbs onto the roof. Penelope is perplexed as to why Josie was here instead of spending New Year’s Eve with her family, and why does she seem mad, or annoyed, or dejected, Penelope can’t even tell with the dark night sky and slight high. 

“Josie? What are you doing here?” Penelope questions, getting up from her spot. Josie makes her way across the flat roof without replying to her and Penelope starts getting worried. “JoJo? Is something wrong?”

Josie finally gets close enough to her that Penelope can see the tears in her eyes and Penelope just wants to hug her but she has no idea what was going on. 

“I hate you,” Josie whispers at her before pulling Penelope into an all-encompassing kiss.

And the only thing Penelope can think is, _finally._

//

**iv. i hate you**

Josie regrets what she just did. Why did she think kissing recklessly was a good idea. She quickly pulls away and is brought back into her surroundings. The whistle blows, signalling that the game is about to begin and that the players should be on the field. 

“I’m sorry,” Josie blurts, “that was a mistake.” 

Rafael looks at her, confused, but he needs to be on the field and there’s no time to talk about it. 

It’s not like Josie could explain it either. She had simply seen Penelope kissing Dana on the field earlier and her first instinct was to text Rafael, telling him she wanted to talk about something. She had watched the cheer routine in awe, cheering at them herself, to support her sister and others she knew on the team. Rafael found her right after the routine ended and she had instantly pulled him in without thinking about it. 

Josie apologises to him the next day, after trying multiple times through text message. He says it’s fine, once again, but Josie knows that it’s really not. 

She tries to make it up to him by taking him to a movie, because for some reason Josie thinks that’s a good idea, and it really wasn’t the worst idea. They enjoyed the movie together, as friends, and as they walked out they saw a few cheerleaders who Josie knew via Lizzie. Josie introduces him to them, as he was still fairly new, and he ends up taking a liking to one of them, Cassie, who seems as equally interested. Josie leaves them be, letting them get to know each other, and returns home to a text messaging saying: _all is forgiven._

Penelope seems distant for the next few days, still talking to Josie every morning but not seeming as into it as she usually is. Josie tries to not let it bother her but it really, truly, honestly does and she hates it. Though she can’t help but enjoy the comforting hug that they give each other each morning before separating, now officially the best part of her day, such that it’s just downhill from there. 

(She makes sure to always be the one to let go last, to allow Penelope to control how long their hugs last)

They break again for Thanksgiving and Josie basks in the quality time spent with her dad and Lizzie. 

She spends more energy on her extracurriculars, hoping to win the championships for debate, chess, and the mathletes. 

Penelope seems more like her previous self when they near Christmas but Josie feels there’s still some distance there. 

On their last day before Christmas break, Josie decides it’s really now or never. She wraps all her feelings with a red ribbon, curled ends and everything, and gives them to Penelope, hoping to hear from her soon. 

She doesn’t hear from her at all. 

Josie had made sure to put her number, her email, her dad’s email, heck, even her mum’s email even though she was halfway across the globe. And Penelope already knows where she lives, but it’s radio silence. 

Josie maybe feels like a complete idiot, having expressed all her feelings in that one gift and not even receiving an automated rejection email in response. 

So she decides to leave it for next year Josie to deal with it, _new year, new me, or whatever the fuck._

She greets her mum at the airport on Christmas Eve and as usual, Lizzie stays up past midnight for whatever the fuck reason. 

Josie receives an envelope on Christmas Day, not even knowing why the post office was open that day. 

She opens it to find a certificate with an additional note. The certificate states that someone has used one of those online registries to name a star after her, detailing its location and type. 

She reads the attached note:

_JoJo, I know you don’t believe you’re a star, but now you kind of have to whether you like it or not._

_Merry Christmas._

_Love, Penelope._

...and she thinks it’s a sweet gift, though maybe a bit cliché.

...and it reminds her of something.

...and she’s supposed to be mad at Penelope, perhaps. 

...and maybe she’s just sad that Penelope has a crush on someone else.

...but it reminds her of something.

...and it clicks. 

(like a broken locker that’s pulled at just the right angle)

  


“Oh, fuck!” Josie barges into the kitchen intending to find Lizzie, but instead finds _Hope._

Who is here at such an ungodly hour, as she always is on Christmas Day, for God only knows why. 

Whatever. Hope will do.

“Does Penelope have a crush on me?!” Josie exclaims, the gears in her head still churning, needing something to give it that extra push.

Hope slowly removes the spoon from her mouth and puts it back into the peanut butter jar, looking guilty, but Josie doesn’t have the time right now to wonder whether Hope had been eating straight from their peanut butter jars for all these years. 

“Um, yeah?” Hope says, slowly moving the jar under the table and out of view, “I thought you knew?” 

//

After Josie’s somewhat of a mental meltdown from the information, Lizzie and Hope convince her to wait until after the new year to go see Penelope. Josie agrees, reluctantly at first, wanting to spend more time with her mum and the rest of her family, but dying to see Penelope. 

She doesn’t even know what she’ll say to her but she knows she needs to see her. 

Hope and Lizzie fill her in with all the details they know and Josie’s mind is reeling, like a large fish is on the end of her rod and it’s out of control because it’s scared that a fucking hook is in it’s mouth and Josie just wants to reel it in so she can help set them free but the fish doesn’t know that so they’re both just simultaneously freaking out. 

But as the days before New Year’s Eve pass by, Josie begins to wonder why Penelope hadn’t reached out to her herself. Josie had been very clear and very explicit in her gift-wrapped feelings, leaving no space for even a speck of doubt. 

It _was_ possible that Penelope hadn’t opened it yet, but she’d also seen Penelope tear into a birthday gift half a second after she’d received it, so it just didn’t seem like her. 

(She remembers the huge smile Penelope had on her face after Josie gave her a sweater with a turtle on it as a gag gift, and she forgets that she’s mad at her for a brief moment)

Josie can’t take it anymore and physically can’t wait a single more day to see Penelope so she goes to where she knows Penelope will be on New Year’s Eve (or where she hopes Penelope will be). 

She has a plan in mind, a _poem_ of sorts that she wants to recite to Penelope, laying all her feelings out, giving all the points and evidence, putting all the pieces together, adding up the remaining integrals, in the most heartfelt way she knew how.

She brings the certificate with her for some reason, as if needing it as proof of Penelope’s feelings in case she tries to deny it right in front of her ballad. 

She asks around, to see if anyone has seen Penelope. She gets a few replies saying they’ve seen her around somewhere, which pleases Josie, and also some asking what she was doing here, which she ignores for now and makes a mental note to apologise to them later. 

She finally finds MG and he mentions that he’d seen Penelope climbing up to the roof a while ago and Josie could kiss him but that was maybe the opposite of her plan so she heads to the staircase instead.

She finds herself getting more nervous by the second, accidentally hitting her knee on the ladder as she opens the hatch to the roof. She curses her jitters, mumbling a few family-friendly expletives under her breath. 

She sees Penelope as she finally stands on the roof. 

She registers that Penelope’s saying something to her but nothing’s really going in.

She realises there’s probably a leak in her brain, since all the words she had before were suddenly gone as well.

So instead, she voices the three words that have been circling in her mind for the past three years.

“I hate you.”

_Welp, those weren’t the right ones._

But she kisses her anyway, knowing that Penelope will understand what she means. 

And she holds onto her, not planning to let go any time soon, and she knows Penelope won’t this time either. 

  
  


// 

  
  


//

  
  


Later, they’re huddled up under the stars, pointing out random ones and naming them after each other.

“Hey, why did the parents decide to name their baby after a star?” Penelope says in her lame joke voice.

Josie rolls her eyes but can’t help smiling, completely enamoured by the girl beside her. “I don’t know. Why?”

“How should I know? _They_ Jos-ette.”

  


(Somewhere, there’s a Penelope Park punch-line, and Josie’s in the first position)

( _To The Moon And Back_ by _Savage Garden_ plays elsewhere in the back of Penelope’s mind)

**Author's Note:**

> god i was getting so sick of writing them pining back and forth so i just ended it #swag, also because it was meant to be 99% humour but that didn’t fucking work and i hurt myself in my confusion
> 
> might fuck around and do a second part to finish off that wacky american school year (i find it wild that school starts in the middle of the year, i know it’s not just USA), might not
> 
> Notes, as per usual:  
> \- sorry if it’s a bit long, not used to one-shots & it takes me too long to get to that mf point!  
> \- this went mooz to ZOOM to mooz to ZOOM and i apologise  
> \- they just have different love languages and the in-built translator in their heads are shit ok!!  
> \- they both think they’re being slick and subtly letting their feelings known but it’s just not it  
> \- idk why i made Penelope have an oldie’s playlist in her head but i guess that’s what’s happening now  
> \- i started writing this yesterday and only read over it completely once so i’m certain there are mistakes, sorry bout that  
> \- i know my sentence structure is horrendous but it be like that sometimes (all the time)  
> \- my baby brother told me that underwhere joke and i found it so funny that i had to put it in
> 
> peace, hope you have a nice day!
> 
> edit: ps. the title is from [Waiting For You by The Aces](https://youtu.be/B9fDHlz_A78) (if u didn't know already), pls stream the whole  
> [album](https://open.spotify.com/album/3Lz15w8ecHfYgKbnOF36Tb), it's amazing
> 
> edit 2: [send a prompt if u would like to!](https://curiouscat.me/spitzerspace)


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